The Toxic effects of Self-Judgement

And the interconnected cascade of stress, gut issues, and hormonal imbalances

By: Adrienne Roumasset, M.S., H.H.C.

Holistic health is an approach that treats the whole person.

It has traditionally been in opposition to treatments such as pharmaceuticals or other western medicine techniques, which often target one specific chemical reaction and/or treat one specific symptom or system of the body. However, more doctors are getting on board to holistic healing, as scientific research over the last 30 years has revealed new insights into the interconnected nature of our brain and body and the effectiveness of the holistic approach. For example, a healthy gut microbiome is key factor in mental health.

In this blog, I dive into my own healing story to exhibit how mental stress, gut or digestive imbalance, and hormones are intricately connected. And how ultimately, a seemingly little thing like self-judgement can set the whole system out of whack.

When I was 34, I was pretty depressed. It was like the light of my once strong and raging spirt had dimmed to a pathetic little dwindling flame. I was weepy, frustrated, tired, and totally in my head and disconnected from my body. My mental patterns were intensely negative – my thoughts were dominated by self-judgement regarding my looks and my worthiness as a lovable or adequate human being. All of this was invisible to the outside, as I appeared to be a vivacious young woman, but what was not seen was the intense high/lows of my moods.  Over time, I fell into a pattern of overexercising and undereating – if I could match the body type of the “perfect woman” maybe I could be more lovable.

So here’s what happened – I lost 15 pounds very fast after doing an Ayurvedic cleanse based on grains and legumes, and my period stopped. Although I now see that I was dealing with digestive and mental health symptoms before this happened (abdominal cramps, chronic loose bowels, depression, fatigue) the amenorrhea (aka no period) was the first thing I could not ignore away. After 3 months of no period, I got some help.

A blood test revealed the extent of my hormonal imbalance – low T3 (thyroid), low progesterone, low estrogen.

But why? My naturopath and health coach helped me see it was partially rooted in digestive issues. I was not absorbing nutrients properly to support hormone production.

So I went on a very strict gut healing protocol, with some success. My hormones were responding, but I still had amenorrhea.

So hear comes the interconnection part - if your digestive system is out of whack for long enough, chances are your hormones will be too.Omega 3 fatty acids, B vitamins, selenium, and vitamin D are crucial to hormone production, and if you are not getting enough of these things (or you are not absorbing them properly) you will not produce adequate reproductive hormones. Furthermore, I had gut dysbiosis, which is defined as an imbalanced microbiome and causes inflammation of the digestive tract.  Inflammation puts your body in a state of stress. When you are under stress, the hormone cortisol is released.  Cortisol inhibits the production of thyroid (i.e. energy) and reproductive hormones.

Let’s look a little deeper into how cortisol does this. In essence, there is a hormonal “fork in the road” in your brain – specifically in your hypothalamus and pituitary glands. When you are relaxed and well fed, your hypothalamus will signal to the pituitary that you are safe, and your body will produce thyroid and reproductive hormones (progesterone, estrogen, testosterone).

But, if you are stressed, the pituitary will signal the adrenals to produce cortisol. As mentioned, cortisol inhibits the production of thyroid and reproductive hormones, hence the 2 forks in the road (either cortisol, or reproductive hormones…not both).

If you are under chronic stress, you will chronically underproduce all those lovely feel-good hormones that make us feel juicy and alive, and instead feel tense, on edge, irritable, frazzled, and stressed (that’s cortisol).  

Guess what else cortisol and stress inhibits? Proper digestion, which leads to poor nutrient production, and hormonal imbalance.  It’s all connected!

So – I changed my diet to one that would reduce inflammation and heal my gut, and started to put on weight so my body felt safe, and low and behold I started producing more thyroid and reproductive hormones. But not enough. I felt a bit better, but I still felt depressed and on edge and my period was still nowhere to be seen.

Why? Because I had not yet gotten to the root of my mental stress and intense self-judgement. In my opinion, there is little that is more stressful (and hence cortisol producing) than chronic self-judgment. I had addressed the physical aspects of stress, but not the mental and emotional.

So then came the next level of healing. Changing my brain. Now that is a subject for another blog, but suffice it to say that through specific tools to cultivate self-reflection, lots of somatic release, honesty, compassion and support I cultivated self-acceptance and love, and ultimately transformed self-judgement into self-compassion. I invested in myself – healing retreats, online groups, one-on-one coaching, and finally trainings and certifications to offer healing to others. In all honesty, the value I received completely changed how I am in the world and I wouldn’t take back a cent of it.  

 And now I’m perfect. Hahah, far from it, but I’m ok with that.  I will say that my gut is healed, I no longer need to take thyroid hormone because I make it on my own, my period is regular, my libido is restored (thank goodness for that!), and that fire of my soul I talked about is once again raging with its full creative power and passion. When I do encounter stress and/or self-judgement, it is merely a passing breeze instead of a pervading climate, and I have the tools to transform it right there in the moment. I also have tools to cultivate what I DO want to feel, which is a critical part. I see now we can’t just be an “innocent bystander” to our thoughts and emotions. We HAVE to be diligent on processing and changing them – our health, and the expression of the true fire of our souls, depends on it.

The stress – gut – hormone connection is an aspect of the integrated, interconnected whole I refer to as the Body Ecology. Ecology is the study of natural systems, and how elements of life (trees, soil microbes, water transport, flowers, bees, etc.) are all interconnected and effect each other. I have a Masters in Freshwater Ecology and 15 years as an Ecologist under my belt, and as such have dedicated much of my life to studying and observing Ecological systems. When I began to study nutrition and holistic health, I saw that our body is a reflection of the grander Ecosystem that we are a part of. The stress – gut – hormone connection is just one aspect of your Body Ecology. So what keeps that body ecology running? Your life force. What is one of the easiest way to throw your life force of track? Self Judgement.

Engaging in practices to connect and serve the unique nature that is you (i.e. eating for YOUR body, tools to regulate your nervous system) is truly health promoting, energizing, and helps you supercharge the natural healing process that your body is made for. You are a wonderful, unique, complex expression of nature, infinitely more than the sum of your parts, and your body is designed to heal.

Wondering how you can heal your gut or help balance your hormones holistically?

Want a tool box handpicked and unique to you to start changing your mental climate to one that supports your physical healing and expression of your full vital energy?

I want to help! Click below to email me and set up your free discovery session and learn how you can unroll a personalized plan to healing.