The Profound Gift of Boredom

 A few weeks ago I “celebrated” the anniversary of  the most serious injury I’ve ever sustained – February 3rd 2020, I blew my ACL while backcountry skiing.

As tribute, I wrote a facebook post about the gifts of doing nothing. Here’s a excerpt (full post here)

Right before the injury – I was insatiable.
My acceptance of risk while skiing was at an all time high, and I was gluttonously indulging in distraction and addictive behaviors. But however much I ran, it seemed the well of discontentment only grew deeper.
When I think of myself before my injury I think of someone who was on a high that perhaps needed to crash back down.
I had what I’ve since learned from studying with White Tiger Qigong was an excess of the Fire element, marked by an excess of desire, and a lack of contentment.
And so, two years ago, while flying high on an epic day in the mountains, I was knocked down.
And just like that I was forced to sit, be bored, feel my internal discomfort.
And eventually, find the contentment beneath that was there all along….

 Judging from people’s reactions, I guess I struck a cord. On some level we understand the futility of distraction, and the immeasurable value in exploring our inner landscape.

We all want to feel healthy. We all want to feel loved. These days, it’s all too easy to look to Doctor Google and the connection in social media.  

 True, there is some good information on the internet. However, the consciousness of the internet is finite. When we tap into it, we tap into a world of limited possibility.

 But if we truly want to expand into the full potential of these things (our own health and capacity for love) we must take the time to listen to our own needs.

 It is there that you can tap into the wisdom of the “collective unconscious”, an idea coined by the celebrated Swiss Psychiatrist Carl Jung that refers to the collection of knowledge and imagery deep in our psyche, that contains ancestral experience and is shared by all human beings.

 An internet of the soul, perhaps?

 In addition, when you explore your inner landscape you can connect to your own internal universe.

 In contrast to the internet, this world is infinite, and when you explore it, you access unlimited possibility (which you are) which includes the potential for original thought (not just recycled information like the digital world).

 If you are like me, you can FEEL the finiteness of the internet. When you are on it too long, it can feel like oppression.

 But within your own self, there is freedom.

 Pretty cool right?

Thanks, I came up with this idea in a 10 minute boredom session. Basically, I set my phone timer for 10 minutes and put it out of reach, sat on my couch, and proceeded to do nothing till that ringer ding rang.

Boredom can not only help you become more in touch with yourself and the vastness of your inner landscape. It can also help process and release emotion, bring clarity, and over time create space for original thought.

 As you may already know, I am a health coach who helps people optimize digestion of the food they consume. However, what I’ve realized, is that with the heightened consumption of information these days, most people have chronically little time to digest their thoughts.

 There is a Daoist saying that “cognitive overload dims the spirit”.

In boredom, we allow some time for our mind and body to digest the onslaught of information, thoughts, and emotions and come to clarity. 

 So why don’t we do it?

Perhaps we feel we’ve neatly tucked away all those emotions and if we resist them and give them some space we may drown in overwhelm.

Which is a fair point (tips on that below). But sticking with the water analogy, what will more likely happen is that at some point, the buildup of emotion will start to overflow and effect every aspect of our life. So better to release it in a controlled manner, little by little.

 Another reason, which I think often the case, deep down we are terrified of just being bored. In which case I say wonderful, as facing our fears and leaning into our discomfort leads to GROWTH.

 On a related note, why is it many of us distract ourselves MORE the more we need to stop, take a breath, and give all the overload some space?

 For instance, a few weeks ago (before I was inspired to start my own boredom practice) I felt especially confused and scattered regarding my next steps in my business.

What I observed, once I finally brought some consciousness to it, was that the more I was confused, the more I’d distract. The more cognitive overload I was under, the more I’d seek out. Not knowing where to land, I’d scroll my phone, flip on Netflix, distracting myself from my own inner turmoil.

However in a moment of clarity I realized all this does is breed MORE confusion. The clarity I was seeking was NOT in my phone, the internet, or on Netflix.

The clarity, would come, by giving the confusion space.

The clarity would come in doing nothing, in what we label “boredom”.

So that’s what I did, and I’ll tell you the shift was immediate.

I sat, gazed out the window and resisted the need to be doing anything at all.

What happened? My monkey mind ran it’s course. And truly, I was not bored. There was so much to feel. Underneath the swirling thoughts were emotions, old hurts and fears. I felt them, I named them, I breathed into them, and created more space for peace and self compassion (tips on that below).

Whenever I talk about facing old hurts, anger, and fear (or ones from today for that matter) I’m always reminded about one of my favorite quotes from the artist Amanda Palmer, who said

“If you ignore your demons they go to the cellar of your soul and lift weights.”

Meaning,

When you tuck your feelings away, or ignore a nagging ache or pain, they don’t go away. They get bigger. You may turn your head away when you feel them, but the way psychology, trauma, and the biology of healing work, turning away just means they are stored and not released. Overtime this causes the symptom, fear, shame, etc build into a bigger problem that you CAN’T ignore away.

 So give it a try. Do nothing.

 Here’s how:

1. Put your phone and anything you can click, read, or fidget with away. If you need extra structure, set a timer for 5 to 10 minutes and promise to do nothing for that time.

2. Sit there and do nothing.

3. That’s it.

 Things that may happen:

1. You let the monkey mind run and hence blow off some of his steam.

2. You realize exactly the best thing to do after the 10 minutes are over.

3. You have an insight or new idea regarding a situation, relationship, or new project.

4. You feel tired. Maybe it’s time for a nap.

5. You tune into your body and feel some tension or discomfort (tips below).

6. You tune into your emotions and feel some buried emotion come up (tips below).

 Whatever arises is asking for your attention. If it is an emotion, it’s ready to be expressed and cleared. GET CURIOUS about your emotions. What are you unwilling to feel? Whatever arises is READY to come up. Trust the subconscious wisdom of your body-mind system.

 If it is physical discomfort, it is your body telling you where you need attention. Give it space and you may have an insight of what you really need.

 Here’s some tips to get through those moments of discomfort and make space for release, healing, and more balance:

  If you sense into an uncomfortable emotion:

·      Name the emotion if possible  

·      Where is this emotion held in your body? Sense and feel your body, looking out for areas of tension. Perhaps you feel a tight chest or shoulders, a heaviness or heat in the head, a quickened heart beat. Slow your breath and bring attention to that area. Feel it.

·      Breathe into the feeling and breathe out tension. Feel to release.

·      Offer yourself compassion for this old hurt, perhaps with a hand on the heart.

 If your discomfort is a physical symptom

·      Breathe into the pain for a minute. Feel all of it.

·      What is your body saying to you? What is it asking of you? (i.e. move more, eat differently, seek out more help). Offer the pain your own compassion, as you would a loved one who feels hurt.

 If you are still reading, I know that YOU feel it.

You know that somewhere deep beneath all that stuck emotion, there is your full, exalted essence.

The full breath of your unique beauty, the full magic of being alive, human, and a part of this great mystery of life.

Could a key to arrive there be as simple as….Boredom?

Worth a try.

Question or Comment? Reach out. I’m here to help.